Happy New Year - this year FOR SURE!
You & I both know that we have been down this path before. Resolutions & even 'more' resolutions. I actually wrote three quirky books but had problems e-publishing them no matter how I tried. They were quirky-inspired words from diary entries. I just did not seem to have the know how. The information never did format well enough to be accepted on the site. I wrote help, I read the pdf but "nada." Frustrated, I let it alone - self conscious by the fact that I would have been able to figure it all out before. It's hard to help a broken self with a broken self. I convinced myself that I could do this (actually I believe I can) but maybe not during this period - it must be fatigue.
Then ... there are always those 'other' extenuating circumstances that find you because of vulnerability. The thing is that when you have no help, energy and sometimes declining health, you have to compromise more than what might be considered 'normal.' When you have had no money and whenever you get it, it has to be spent on 'priorities' because there simply isn't surplus (to better yourself), then you have to compromise yet again. Compromises include time, sleep, health - because it's that or perish.
How I actually feel for 2017, is not as bad as previous years. I do have more brain fog and a tendency to have anxiety attacks for the smallest of things. However, it is the fatigue - both mentally, emotionally and physically that is impactful. I know why they occur - why these things happen. My state of mind is getting stronger. Sooooo I am at it again, trying yet again. This may be appealing to psychology students or the few who can relate to or are interested in such things, but I am happy that I have been able to keep at it. To keep active on some level - to 'SHOW UP.'
At the end of January to the end of February, I will get some black ink so that I complete my drawings - the ones that I have been working on. The subjects are not 'pretty' but they do reflect what I experienced and thought. At that point, I will tweet an update!
So guys, my message to you for 2017 is to keep at it. Just fight.
I have been down. Hurt. Exposed to verbal cruelty. Tired - felt a sense of hopelessness and sadness. I have failed more than my pride can handle sometimes. However, I would feel what I need to, then draw and continue to TRY.
I hope that all of you who have been trying against odds (whatever they are) will experience a much better year.I really do. Remember even when you walk into walls, to 'take the hit', roll and get up. If not, rest for a while before doing so. Then, turn around and try another path. I have walked many wrong paths but they ALL can't be wrong! Try to find your path - In every event, every path is some sort of journey, isn't it?
Have a Productive, Meaningful, Healthy, 'Peace of Mind(ful)' and Happy New Year everyone! :D
ps: Just realized I left this to read over & didn't post (told you I HAVE BEEN drawing!!! Yeah !!!!)
You & I both know that we have been down this path before. Resolutions & even 'more' resolutions. I actually wrote three quirky books but had problems e-publishing them no matter how I tried. They were quirky-inspired words from diary entries. I just did not seem to have the know how. The information never did format well enough to be accepted on the site. I wrote help, I read the pdf but "nada." Frustrated, I let it alone - self conscious by the fact that I would have been able to figure it all out before. It's hard to help a broken self with a broken self. I convinced myself that I could do this (actually I believe I can) but maybe not during this period - it must be fatigue.
Then ... there are always those 'other' extenuating circumstances that find you because of vulnerability. The thing is that when you have no help, energy and sometimes declining health, you have to compromise more than what might be considered 'normal.' When you have had no money and whenever you get it, it has to be spent on 'priorities' because there simply isn't surplus (to better yourself), then you have to compromise yet again. Compromises include time, sleep, health - because it's that or perish.
How I actually feel for 2017, is not as bad as previous years. I do have more brain fog and a tendency to have anxiety attacks for the smallest of things. However, it is the fatigue - both mentally, emotionally and physically that is impactful. I know why they occur - why these things happen. My state of mind is getting stronger. Sooooo I am at it again, trying yet again. This may be appealing to psychology students or the few who can relate to or are interested in such things, but I am happy that I have been able to keep at it. To keep active on some level - to 'SHOW UP.'
At the end of January to the end of February, I will get some black ink so that I complete my drawings - the ones that I have been working on. The subjects are not 'pretty' but they do reflect what I experienced and thought. At that point, I will tweet an update!
So guys, my message to you for 2017 is to keep at it. Just fight.
I have been down. Hurt. Exposed to verbal cruelty. Tired - felt a sense of hopelessness and sadness. I have failed more than my pride can handle sometimes. However, I would feel what I need to, then draw and continue to TRY.
I hope that all of you who have been trying against odds (whatever they are) will experience a much better year.I really do. Remember even when you walk into walls, to 'take the hit', roll and get up. If not, rest for a while before doing so. Then, turn around and try another path. I have walked many wrong paths but they ALL can't be wrong! Try to find your path - In every event, every path is some sort of journey, isn't it?
Have a Productive, Meaningful, Healthy, 'Peace of Mind(ful)' and Happy New Year everyone! :D
ps: Just realized I left this to read over & didn't post (told you I HAVE BEEN drawing!!! Yeah !!!!)